We have been talking about ten elements we feel are the ingredients to a fulfilling life:
- Be true to yourself
- Live with passion
- Make yourself happy
- Help others
- Cry & laugh
- Take risks
- Make mistakes
If you have read the earlier posts we have repeated one word a lot – Feel! That is because we learn though our feelings. We learn though our pain, we learn though our happiness, and we learn how to succeed through our disappointments. In fact our abilities to adjust, adapt, and manipulate are driven by the emotions that we feel.
Think about it. When we where babies we learned that when we felt hungry, wet, or neglected crying would bring us food, a dry diaper, and attention. When we where children we learned getting burned equaled getting hurt, good grades earned us praise, and to use our emotions to manipulate our parents into giving us what we wanted. By the time we reach adulthood we mastered the art of manipulate ourselves in order to avoid things that hurts us and to cling to things that bring us pleasure. This is not to mean that we do not experience pain, disappointment, fear, or the like, because we all experience these emotions. But we have learned to shape our feelings to our environments and we forget sometimes that our emotions also act as alarms to warn us when we are straying from who we want to be.
We have to listen to our emotion alarms- our feelings.
Tune In 2 You Feelings
How do you tune in 2 your feelings then if you don’t even realize you are avoiding them? You live in the now. You ask yourself the big questions: “Am I happy right now?” “Am I closer to my goal of a fulfilled life?” “Will is this action bringing my goal closer?” and you ask them often. Ask them in the morning, ask them at lunch, ask them at dinner, and ask them when you are getting ready for bed.
It is important to remember that negative emotions can be used for your benefit. Tony Robbins in The Edge, argues that you can use “negative” emotions. The idea is to be aware of these emotions so that you can take actions and change the situation. Not to defuse the situation by ignoring it, or by turning the other cheek, or by putting up with it. But rather so you can respond in a way that will move you forward towards obtaining your goals.
As it is many of us are followers rather than leaders. We prefer to not to make waves, or stand out from the crowd.
Instead of blending, adopting, and adjusting your emotions to your environment so that you can “get by”, Tune In 2 your feelings. If you are unhappy at work or wherever, or in whatever situation don’t allow yourself to deny these emotions feel them and then make the necessary changes so that you can be happy where you are at that moment. By realizing your feelings you can take control over your emotions. Admitting and being honest about your feelings is a first step to living a fulfilled life besides there is nothing fulfilling about just “getting by.”
Also by Tuning In 2 your feelings you can make the changes necessary to find fulfillment. By just realizing that you are unhappy you can take actions to change these emotions. Maybe you walk away from the situation; or maybe you change your perception of the environment. By acknowledging your feelings you allow yourself to make the necessary moves to change your situation. If this means standing out in the crowd, then stand out. Rarely (if ever) is living in the shadows of others fulfilling anyway.
It is your life why would you want to live it through someone else’s emotions and feelings? By the way there is a great book titled Fish – This book is an awesome book to read that you help you change your perception of your work place and you life in general.
Tune in 2 your feelings,