Hello Tune In 2 Lifers;
Welcome back. I think today’s post would be better if you dug out your answers to last week’s questions.
Do you remember what they were? Here they are again just in case you cannot find them or you forgot about them all together: What is one of your passionate actions that led you to where you are today? What was the emotion that drove you into action, was it love or fear or something else in between? Do you feel the emotion behind your action made a difference? Or do you feel like as long as you take action that is all that matters?
The reason why I want you to have them handy is that this week’s personal story about passionate action was spurred by the opposite emotion from last week.
This second story stretches over a long period of time and is still a work in progress but don’t worry I will make short of it.
When I was 16 I discovered poetry, my love of reading (some of it) an writing it. However, my poetry writing stayed locked way from view of most people. One night in 2009 there were some stories on the news exposing two blatant issues of racism. I was so upset. I dealt with my frustration the only way I knew how, that was to write a poem so that I could vent my emotions. But for the first time in my life writing my poem was not enough. My frustration grew internal as my fears of taking a stand or exposing my raw emotions stopped me from sharing my disgust over these racial activities. So I out of frustration and disappointment, I started a blog where I shared my poem with anyone that could find it and would read it.
I titled the blog Writer of Some Wrongs and emailed people and let them know that I wrote poetry and share the link to the blog with them. I was so scared that people would not like me anymore or maybe worse they would find fault with my poetry and essentially me. Yet I did it I took passionate action and I shared my poem, thoughts, and myself. I wrote another poem and put it on the blog days later.
I received a lot of positive feedback from both the poems and the blog it was great. I felt great! People liked my poems and they agreed with me. Awesome right! All fears set to rest I can move forward and be the poet I always wanted to be, right?
Well you would have thought so but…yeah, you knew there was a “but” in there somewhere right. There almost had to be. It was over a year before I shared my next poem. In fact I had practically stopped writing them during that time. Why?
Well I came up with lots of excuses: “I’m too busy with school work,” “I can’t make poems come to me,” “I have nothing to say, I guess,” you name it – I blamed it. I could not see what the problem, or rather, problems were. It could be that I still have not figured out what all the problems were.
Nonetheless I have figured out a few. One problem was my title “Writer of Some Wrongs.” That title automatically suggested that that all I could write about was “wrongs”. Right out of the gate I was doomed to only look at life from a negative perspective. Sure it was puny and I liked it, but where could I go long term if I was going to only draw attention to the bad and not the good.
Another problem was, I think, that the passionate action came from negative emotions. I was mad, angry, disappointed, frustrated. These are not necessarily creative emotions, so once the passion found a home I moved on. The emotion cooled and so did the desire to share or even create the poetry.
The third problem was I was not Tuned In 2 me. I let my negative chatter silent me. Thus, I let self doubt stunt my growth. As a result of these issues my poetry was on my endangered species list.
So how did I turn it around?
I Tuned In 2 my real desires. I stopped and asked myself” what it was all for?” “What did I want from my poetry and my writing for that matter?” The answer came swift and clear and I realized I already knew the answer. “I wanted to help people.”
Eventually I realized that my poetry maybe my words and may even be for myself. But its real mission was to help others find the words or a voice when they could not. This realization meant that I now was building my dream of writing poetry from “love” and a positive emotions rather than a negative on.
Now take a moment and think – What was an event that you can remember that spurred you into passionate action and then left you feeling incomplete? Did this passionate action led you to where you are in life right now? Now re-answer the questions: Do you feel the emotion behind your action made a difference? Or do you feel like as long as you take action that is all that matters?
Did your answers change? Has your perspective of the passionate action memories changed after looking at them this way?
Keep in mind that I am not sure there is a “wrong” answer.
I just know that this made sense for me. I know I wasted a lot of time worrying instead of living and I do not want anyone to do the same.
Let’s keep this discussion going either here or on our Facebook Page
Stay Tuned In 2 Life,